Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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