Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
