so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
