Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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