im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
