Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
