You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
