I'm laying in your front yard are you home
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
