Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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