Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
