Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
