I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Can I color on your dick again?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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