thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
