I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
