she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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