so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
