Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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