It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Randomize