i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize