Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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