I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
