When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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