i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
