Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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