a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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