physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
