I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
