I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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