Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
