I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
