remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Randomize
