i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
