last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize