found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
