i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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