you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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