Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
