I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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