omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
