Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
she smelled like a LAN party
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
