Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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