I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
