piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
