i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
