After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
