I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
