And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
