watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
