It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
now i know why i became what i already was.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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