Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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