So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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