This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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