He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
