I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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