"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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