Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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