Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
