This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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