I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He shit in the fireplace
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
