yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
