I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
