do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
as a side note pls kill me
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
