idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize