I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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