sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
