Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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