Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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