Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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