So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
