Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize