Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm way too hungover for life right now
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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