she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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