My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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