He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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