i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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