Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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