if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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