so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
