it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize