sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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