Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
