On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
